Real Love Affirms

I ran across this little idea reading Unshakeable Faith, by Josh and Sean McDowell (Page 178). I have heard the idea before, but I still struggle to do what he is suggesting.



Under the heading, “Real Love Affirms” it reads:


“One day Dottie came home from a meeting at school very hurt over what some mothers had said about one of our kids. In the past when she shared a problem like that with me, I would leap on the situation and say something like, ‘Honey, don’t let it get to you. Here’s what you need to do.’ Then I would outline a plan to fix the problem. It may have been a good plan, but it didn’t address the pain Dottie felt at the moment. But on this particular occasion, I finally got it right. I simply put my arms around her and said, ‘Honey, I’m so sorry that you had to hear those words, and I hurt for you.’ That was it—no fix-it plan, no corrective measures outlined, just a heartfelt expression that identified with her pain.



Amazingly, it worked. Dottie felt affirmed and understood, and that was all she needed at the moment. A few days later she came back to me and asked what I thought she could do to address those critical comments about the family member. My fix-it plan was then welcomed.



We don’t have to understand exactly what a person is going through in order to give them affirming love.”



Especially with men and their wives… Men try to solve the problem, when often all they need to do is listen and be there for their wives to feel what they are feeling. Guys, be aware of this. Love your wives the way they need to be loved, not the way you want to love them. Love is about what you can do for them, not about being the superhero there to save the day.



Just some thoughts.