To Love, Honour, and CHERISH!

Wedding vows… Anyone that has gone through the process of getting married in a church has had to say them. I know. In our new, on-demand culture, some people have written their own or used different vows, but the traditional vows speak about promising to love, honour and cherish their spouse…. That vision of beauty that stand in front of you. Books upon books have been written about love and about how it is a choice to love someone, and not an emotion.


The idea of honour has been addressed many times, although I could discuss it at length as honour has become very watered down in this culture. There is something to be said about knowing that you can trust someone to do what they say they will. Now we have to write up contracts to protect ourselves for everything. Where would the People’s Court be without that, right?

My real point today is to apply what it means to cherish. A good place to start is with a definition: to hold or treat as dear; feel love for

Some synonyms are: treasure, value, prize, appreciate, relish, take pleasure in, esteem, attach importance to.

Let’s use these synonyms to really dig into what it means to cherish.


The Bible says, in Matthew 6:2, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Basically, where you spend your time and energy and emotion, that is where your treasure is. What is that thing for you? That person? Do you find yourself talking about your spouse in a good way? Or do you talk more about your mint-in-box, complete collection of Peanuts collector plates?

If something has value to you, how will you treat it? What if you had the chance to have one of the world’s most valuable and delicate pieces of art in your home? I would hope that you would treat it gently, and that you would do what was needed to protect it from any harsh forces. If you value something or someone, it will show in how you treat them. In marriage, should you not strive for gentleness and respect? Should any harsh words that happen to slip out come to a quick, restoring solution?

What about prize? A prize is something that is to be pursued. It is something of value. It motivates. It inspires. Is your spouse a prize? Have you stopped pursuing them?

Do you appreciate your spouse? Are you thankful for them? This is something that may require an attitude shift, but when was the last time you thanked your spouse for something that they did? Show them that you appreciate them and notice the things that they do.

Relish…. I love ice cream. I LOVE Breyers “All Natural”, triple chocolate ice cream. It has three bands of flavour…. Rich dark chocolate, creamy milk chocolate and light white chocolate. I can sit there with a bowl of it and spoon after spoon just sit… and enjoy… each…. Little… bit. It’s really expensive, so I can only buy it when it is on sale. It’s so amazing! When was the last time you had that kind of time with your spouse? A little snuggle… maybe steal a kiss here or there. Enjoy your spouse. Spend time together. Have fun together. I get that when there are little kids on the house it is tough to find time, but it is SO important.


Have you ever been proud of something that you did? Have you been there when someone talks about how great someone that is important to you is? Love those things that make your spouse look good! Let them know how amazing you think they are too!

Esteem is similar to appreciation, but more action is needed. It is not just about thankfulness, but about showing respect and admiring your spouse. There are several people in my life that inspire me. Most of them know it too, but the one I admire most is my wife. She is my superhero! Who else can birth three kids, all naturally, and then take care of them, giving up sleep, pouring into them and nurturing them, and still be able to be my friend and wife? She’s amazing! Do you esteem your spouse more highly then yourself?

What about attaching importance to your spouse? Think about what that really means. If something is important, you know it, and you tell others. But think about it this way. Big project at work. You have work to accomplish over a period of time. If this goes well, you will bring in a million dollars just as your share of the profits. The project is going to take place over two to three years. There will be days where you wake up and have a clear idea as to what to do, and there will be days where you don’t feel like working at it. You could choose to slack off and ignore it and slowly, but surely your profits will go out the window. The other choice is to attach importance to it and do what is best for the project even though you don’t feel like it. How much more should we work at something as valuable as marriage? It is meant to be for life. It is something to be worked on and built and refined until death does it part.

Your marriage is meant to be cherished. Don’t throw something that important away!